George Burn Quotes: Featuring Failure and Success

Just came across the following over at Goodshit and decided to share because it sort of pushed a button with me. I see myself as a general overall failure at life and in particular I have failed in the few ‘loves’ I have.

This quote from George Burns got me interested so I Google’d quotes of George Burns and I found them insightful and borderline humorous. I thought I would share a few of them with you.

1	Everything that goes up must come down. Not everything that is down can come up.
	This sounds a bit like our share market over the last three years. It fell about 2,500 points during the Global Financial Crisis and has never managed to come back up since.
2	[As you get older] First, you forget names, then you forget faces. Next, you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
	Thankfully, at 59, I am still only at stage one—forgetting names. If I am still posting to this site when I get to stage two of forgetting to pull my zipper up I will let you know.
3	If it’s a good script I’ll do it. And if it’s a bad script, and they pay me enough, I’ll do it.
4	If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress, and tension.
	Crap. I’m stuffed then.
5	If you live to be a hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.
6	Look to the future, because that is where you are going to spend the rest of your life.
7	Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
8	The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
9	The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
10	It is too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxi cabs or cutting hair.
11	And God said: “Let there be Satan so people don’t blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers so people don’t blame everything on Satan.”